Lost...

Lol finally posting something here after such a long time. Guess what it's 1.45am now and I don't feel tired. I can't sleep and is stuck here. Feeling very very empty. I don't feel like I'm living my own life anymore right now, feels as if I'm living "the flow" what comes, comes and what goes, goes. Happiness sure is a hard-to-get-thing this year. I wonder why... I wouldn't say that there isn't any nice things that happen to me this year, but somehow the ratio of my happy and sad times switch places. Unlike last year I've had more happy times than sad ones, but its kinda the opposite this year. Maybe God just wants me to learn my lesson that happiness isn't gained that easily. Either way, i'm feeling lifeless... so lifeless that I can't even sleep! Lol. Sometimes I don't even know what I want. When I'm home using the comp, I wished I was somewhere else. When I'm out I wish I was home resting. When I'm working I wish I could sleep, when I'm on the bed I wish I could wake up faster. WTF? Epic killing myself from the inside out man. Need a new motivation right now, and a guy like me, finding a motivation is like going to the mall to get something but don't know what. Argh... In need of a miracle here, anyone knows of a way to get one? I really need one now. Anyways I've got so much in my mind, but I don't know how to put them into words. So see ya for now!

My beearly Birthday

Muahahaha THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR CELEBRATING MY BEEARLY BIRTHDAY WITH ME LOVE YOU GUYS!!! xD Haha it was so fun having you guys around and i really appreciate everybody for attending. Haha I also wanna thank everyone for the presents I love all of it haha. Haven't got so much presents in such a long time d xD here's a pic of them.

How's life?

Woots, my 2nd semester just ended, isn't that fast? 7 months into the year already, time sure flies. And life's complicated as time pass. So much to think about, but so little has a conclusion to it. So much to reach out for, but so little I've archived. At some point, I would actually question myself how do I really feel. I feel jumble up in reality, I dunno what I want or what keeps me going. I dunno if I really want to go for it or should I stay aside and wait for it to come to me. I always thought that taking the initiative to take the first step was the right thing to do if we want to get some where, but somehow right now it just doesn't seem like its going anywhere. Should I continue to stay put or should I try so at least I know I tried, but I'm afraid of the results of what all this might turn into. Lol, maybe i'm just bored with nothing to do and so i started thinking crap. Anyways chao humans!

Let the past remind us with memories, and let the future guide us with hope. And the present is a gift for us to cherish.

Hello people!!! Well just like the title says, let the past remind us with memories. The past will remain as our treasured memory, and will always remind us of the wonderful and depressing times. Thinking the days we used to have fun, smile and being happy, these are the memories that will never fade. Let the future guide us with hope, the future will always have something waiting for us. Something for us to archive, something to keep us going, and a reason to never give up. The present is a gift for us to cherish. The present is a gift, a blessing that we have what we have at this very moment. What we have now might not remain and we might lose it, but what we have now might also turn into something better. But for better or worse we must always remember to cherish the present. Some things just don't come around twice in our lifetime. Just wanna let everybody reading this post know that, things happen for a reason, things we have now are ours for a reason, things we lose are lost for a reason, and things we never have will never be ours for a reason. But then again, all these happen so that we will appreciate what we have now more, we will work hard towards what we want, and we will never forget what we had. Cheers!!

Random

Ahaha random post with random words xD haha. Random is the new smile xP haha what ever comes comes and what ever goes goes. Haha I'm smiling because I am =) hehe. I wanna see that smile =P haha I like seeing people around me happie and smiling. Oh humans there's this saying I made up, you can be perfect for one but not for all. =P get it?? haha I think it means alot. Imagine if you're perfect to that person and no one else. And imagine that person thinks you're perfect in everyway even though you know you're not! Smile hehe eveything needs wonderful events nyehehe! =P

Little Update with a Little Surprise

Ahaha here's a update for THE surprise. Here's riddle as another hint.

Sour and pink but also sweet,
A stick to go with it and a wrapping too,
Its nice hold and yummy to eat,
What could it be, wait and you'll see!

=P its kinda obvious but I bet you cant guess exactly what is it haha. More suspense for you muahahahaha xD see ya people!!

My New Favourite Shirt

Ahaha!! Hi People!!! As usual after friday usual BI Department meetings we go for dinner. And after that we went to help me get a new shirt for my receptionist duty. Its a padini originally RM105 but after discount its only RM54! Woah! Thanks to Say Chiew, Stephanie, Ming Yoke, and Suet Ching I got this super nice shirt! Check it out!!!
Ta-Da Shirt with Jeans!!!

Shirt with Tie!
Shirt with Tie and Blazer!!!

Weee! Really like it very much! And thanks to my hard work training! I finally look better in a blazer!!

I feel lost somehow...

Well nothing has happened much besides TTC's Camp and You Hang's birthday. Its been quite some time since then and then. Well thinking back I really still do miss then. But again, I'll say I've moved on. It's just sometimes memories do return to give me a feeling from before. But that's the past, I'm walking forward now. Although alone, but I have some great buddies that would always be there for me. When I look around, I feel like some part of me is missing. I'm not sure if it was left behind or did it go somewhere, but I hope that that missing part of me can be patched up once again. Time passed, and I'm still waiting for the "one true one" or at least the "thought-to-be-one". Either way, I will still give my fullest if there is someone. =) 2010!! Its June, and so much has passed. Been through so much, it felt like the clock is ticking slower. Well I still keep my hopes to me, and hope for a better tomorrow or a chance perhaps. Anyways chao people!! See ya =)

Ta-Da!!!

I was thinking reading a blog post. Fyi, its about having something while losing another. Well, come to think of it, its quite true. I could say I've met 2 of the most special people around throughout my 17 years of my life. The times I spent with them does not matter. What's matter the most is the moment I spent with them. And frankly speaking I do miss them very very much. Why? I can't really answer as well. Maybe because they're so miss-able. Alright stop the crapping =P I really thank a few people here, mainly my heng dais, my BI department, the TTC family, and of course my crazy college buddies. Just to honour them here's a few names I wanna share with everyone.

Heng Dais: Yi Shiuan Zhen Yuan Ping Hui Chen Loong Ah Mao Kok Sheng
BI Dept: Jia Yi Suet Ching Ming Yoke Stephanie x2 Eu Chern
TTC Family: If I name out everyone here, my blog would become a name checklist for TTC ==
College Buds: The wackos!! =P

They are amongst the most important people in my life. Without them I'd be lost =P and for those who's name isn't there, just to let you know, you're somewhere in my heart. And believe me I do remember you. Sometimes when I think about you, I really do want you here, but seeing you happier than before, I feel happy too. I thank you for being here for me, and I thank you for everything you've gave me. I know things will never be the same again but, You will always remain in my heart =) Cheers!! :")

A pause from Reality

Well lately I've been wondering is how I feel really what I think it is? Or is it just another mental game my mind has been playing with me. So much has happened and its only like MAY?? long way to go mates! Lol, almost everywhere I go something would seem broken or screwed up. Well first things first blame the tiger year >_> sorry for all tigers reading this. But then again, what other logical theory you can come up with when you have a chain full of events which aren't happening usually? TREND? You gotta be joking man. Well thinking back I see something unpleasant happen almost everyday. And for the good stuff, I think it's like striking a lottery cause you rarely see good things happening considering the amount of things may happen and people you interact with. No matter how defensive you are, things will come around with their own unique way. How to care for someone without having that person know that you're doing it for that person only. Well one solution is to do the same for everyone else, but then eventually you become Mr./Mrs. Nice Person. Then the care isn't really special anymore. Get it?? I'm wondering how many people actually read this lol. Oh well, at the end of the day life goes on, even though you'll get f**k eventually by life itself. But what can you do? Just live with it I guess, after getting f**k isn't as bad as being alone right? Keeps a person occupied. I'm still wondering what am I doing, care for you or not? Or did I just screw things up for you. Oh well, at least I care instead of hating you. Chao!

Feeling Lonely

Well, First things first, for all of you that have been there for me all the time. I do know you guys are there. But sometimes I do feel a little lonely and lost. Well it's just sometimes when I'm alone in the car (I love being in my car) I do feel like I'm walking this road alone. Heard the song "Boulevard of Broken Dreams"? It's kinda like that. Late at night, drive alone, my phone won't beep and nobody is expecting me home. I might sound desperate, but I'm just not used to it YET. Sitting alone right now, kinda sucks == don't really have anyone to talk to. Which sucks even more. Well all I can say is life goes on, with or without someone my life goes on. For those who have always been there for me, thank you very much. For now, all I can say is my path is hazy but I know there will be another light to guide me soon. Tata! =P

Dreams will always be dreams

Dreams will always stay as a dream and will never become real no matter how much you want them to be. Every time I dream of you, no matter how real they are, no matter how the dream is, no matter how hard I try not to wake up, in the end a dream will always remain as a dream and we can never change that fact. We dream of what we want, but why do we have these dreams? That's because we keep thinking about them and when we close our eyes we're still having them in our heads.

"When I close my eyes, I think of you, When I dream, I dream of you"

Turn Back The Time

I've bet everyone reading this would at one point of your life, would wish you could to turn back the time. For any reason you can give, sometimes turning back the time seems like the only way to settle things. But think again, if it is not what happened before we will not be what we are now. So let it be for now and hope for a better future. Well i get to talked to you, I'll consider myself quite lucky being able to talk to you like that, don't know when I will get my next chance. It's so different now, the way we talk, the things we talk about, the feeling I get when we talk, the way we sit. It's like you are so far away yet so near to me. Even when you care for me and touch my head to look at my wound, I don't feel the special feeling anymore, it's just another hand checking out my wound. I know you still care for me and would want me to be happy, but to me things don't exactly turn out the way they are meant to make you feel. I'm happy I get to spend that short time talking to you, thank you for still caring for me. For now, I'll just move on, and see what lies ahead of me. Tata! =P

I love you, for you

A lot of people have someone they love. And everyone person is different. That's what makes love special. Sometimes some people do question, why do you like me? And you can answer with a thousand words. Or you can just say because you are you. Sounds stupid at first, but think again. How much does that mean. That person loves you with all their heart. They love they way you dress, the way you eat, the way you talk, thing things you can't do and even your flaws. That is really amazing. Loving someone for they are someone and not what they can do and what they have. Of course people do change when they're in love with someone. But the changes they make and the things they learn to understand for the person they love is all because they wanna be a better person for the person they love. I've always feel like giving you a great big warm hug. But again, even if I was given a chance to hug you it would never feel the same as before. As I'm not the one anymore. Things like that do run through my mind, and I can't really do anything about it. I know how to let go of things, yet I don't want to. Why? Cause I'm still hoping, every breathe I take, I hope for a turn back. I don't wish anything to happen to you and him of course. But I wish for a miracle to happen. I walk the streets I used to walk with you, and hope to see you there, I go to the places you hang out hoping you might be there, I write this blog hoping you know, I've not given up yet! Smile! =)

Ironman 2

Woots that movie is great! But alot people keep saying Ipman 2 is better. I haven't watch Ipman 2 yet so i can't compare. But I'm a big fan of ironman so I'm being a buyer here. Well went to watch Ironman 2 at mid valley with some retarded heng dais lol. But to me ironman is a worth watching movie. Two thumbs up! Well i'm still missing you alot right now. But seeing you happy i'm happy too. I really feel like talking to you face to face. But things don't really seem to work out when we do so. Especially when there's so many people around. But well life goes on. Still praying for you everyday, and hoping I'll get my chance lol. God Bless And All The Best! Still always looking forward to see you =P trying out my luck.

Sacrifice

Sacrifice what is the first thing that comes into your mind when you see that word? Your parents? Your friends? Your loved ones? Yourself? To what extend can you go to sacrifice for someone? Will you stay up late for someone? Will you stand by there for a person for hours? Will you get in between a collision course when your loved ones is going to get knocked down by someone else when they're ice skating? Will you stop a car from crashing your loved ones by ramming your car into the other car? Can you stand up for the person you love so much and take the blame without thinking twice? Ask yourself now. Can you? If you think you can, think again when is the last time you willingly drive to and back to where you are, just to get something your loved one left in his/her home. How much you're willing to sacrifice is how much you love someone. How many people reading this can say I love him/her so much I will take the bus or walk to work/school so that I can save up enough money, thus she/he may have a nice candle-light dinner together with me? Going that extra mile means a lot to a person you love. If you do love a person say you do, don't think twice then say you do. If you love a person, grab his/her hand and say I'm not afraid to do *something* as long as you are with me. If you love a person, face the problem together with that person instead of trying to solve the problem on your own saying you don't wanna hurt the person you love. If you have conditions, means you don't fully love a person. Is easing the consequences you are facing more important than being there for someone? If you can't stop giving conditions to the person you love, then don't bother loving that person at all. You don't say you can't give someone something, instead say you will do your best to give. For the better or worse at least you try. Don't say NO before you even try. Embrace yourself for a change.

P.S: If you ever hurt her I will make sure you won't feel nice. And I mean what I say.

The truth is hard to say

To be honest what I really want now is a chance, but I cant really ask for it. I really wanna talk to you, I really wished things could be like before, I wished that I've haven't done they things that I did. But again if i hadn't done what I did, I will not learn. Sometimes I may seem happy that you have someone you wanted and say you'll be happier with that happening, but the truth is I want you even more than you think. Words like "I miss you" "I like you" "I wanna be with you" can only remain in me. Not being able to say them to you really hurts. Right here, right now I realize the mistakes that I did, and it is a little too late I know. But I'm always here if you ever turn around. Things like I'm too good, or You're not meant for me are just words, they don't mean anything not as long as I don't think they are and I never will. If I was never suppose to be there, then I wouldn't even pop up in your life and become such an important person in such a short time. I really want you to know that I love you, and really wanna be with you. Don't think I deserve someone better when I don't think I do. Even if someone better is there doesn't mean I will choose that person. And don't always say that another girl will be there one day for me, why can't it be you? I don't want another girl to be there. When I say I want you means I want you not someone else, and saying this means I think that you're irreplaceable. Words like this might fade in time, but right now this is how I feel about you. No doubt I really confirm 100% who I want to be with is you. But right now, all I can do is pray hard, and of course you know my style, pray hard that you'll be happy with him, not pray hard that he'll hurt you. If you do ever turn around, just to let you know, I will say yes. What makes me so sure that I will? Cause I will never say something I can't do, as long as my love for you is still there, the chances for you and me is always possible. Don't feel guilty, cause if you do things will never be the same, be thankful instead. I'm right now feeling very thankful you were here. And knowing you loved me that much, I really couldn't wish for more. I just really want you to know, I still want you and would still sacrifice for you. Ily.

P.S: I would still wait and treat you nice even if you don't gimme hope.

Appreciate ^_^ V

We must appreciate what we have, every day, every hour, every minute, every second. When we get the opportunity we must hold on to it not let it go so easily. Treasure it, enjoy it, appreciate it, and be thankful. Everyone has someone to care for, we must always remember why do we want to care for that person. If we don't, then loving someone will become a routine. We must be thankful and appreciate the times we spend with the people we all love so dearly. Time passes by and will never turn back. No matter the moment were bad or good, what matters is the time we spend with that special person. We're happy because of a person, we're sad because of a person, in the end it is still because of the person. Smile for someone if you care for someone, a smile can do miracles when you smile because of someone. We must always remember not to take things for granted cause not everything has a second chance. But one is to wait for someone, something will happen for bad or for good, or at least we know we have a reason to wait. =P

It Doesn't Matter which is better, It's what we want that matters the most.

Woots people! Finally yewho has a blog! After much consideration I've decided to have one hehe! Well back on topic, I've finish my finals so i would be lifeless for two week >_< you'll see pop up at random moments, count on it! Well just like my post title say, sometimes when we go into a phone shop and choose they best out of the ones we can afford, but we tend to forget what actually we want from a phone. It's the same in life, sometimes being better doesn't mean that you will be wanted, choices of people varies, but if someone knows what they want, choosing what's "best" for them is choosing the "better". While thinking about all these, I realize that better is just a word to categories something, it only gives a general perspective of something. We only think that something is better because everybody says it is but being better is nothing compare to being "best for someone". Being best for someone is truly the one thing only one can give to another. But things change, people come people go, rain comes and wash away the dirt on the pavements, the sun shines brightly and dries the pavement, but in the end, at first that pavements might seem to be everybody's hangout spot cause it is the only place we can go to, but when a starbucks is open nearby, things will never be the same on the pavement anymore. Being there for someone means that "no matter what happen call me I'll be there", loving someone without expecting returns means "I love you and only God knows that", self-sacrifice for a smile means "step out and bring the problems with you so the other can smile whole-heartedly", silent support means "shhh i'm helping a person don't let that person know k?" but what means to be me is "me". I might seem like a retarded person that doesn't think for myself, but that's "me" =P that's all for now, smell ya!