The truth is hard to say

To be honest what I really want now is a chance, but I cant really ask for it. I really wanna talk to you, I really wished things could be like before, I wished that I've haven't done they things that I did. But again if i hadn't done what I did, I will not learn. Sometimes I may seem happy that you have someone you wanted and say you'll be happier with that happening, but the truth is I want you even more than you think. Words like "I miss you" "I like you" "I wanna be with you" can only remain in me. Not being able to say them to you really hurts. Right here, right now I realize the mistakes that I did, and it is a little too late I know. But I'm always here if you ever turn around. Things like I'm too good, or You're not meant for me are just words, they don't mean anything not as long as I don't think they are and I never will. If I was never suppose to be there, then I wouldn't even pop up in your life and become such an important person in such a short time. I really want you to know that I love you, and really wanna be with you. Don't think I deserve someone better when I don't think I do. Even if someone better is there doesn't mean I will choose that person. And don't always say that another girl will be there one day for me, why can't it be you? I don't want another girl to be there. When I say I want you means I want you not someone else, and saying this means I think that you're irreplaceable. Words like this might fade in time, but right now this is how I feel about you. No doubt I really confirm 100% who I want to be with is you. But right now, all I can do is pray hard, and of course you know my style, pray hard that you'll be happy with him, not pray hard that he'll hurt you. If you do ever turn around, just to let you know, I will say yes. What makes me so sure that I will? Cause I will never say something I can't do, as long as my love for you is still there, the chances for you and me is always possible. Don't feel guilty, cause if you do things will never be the same, be thankful instead. I'm right now feeling very thankful you were here. And knowing you loved me that much, I really couldn't wish for more. I just really want you to know, I still want you and would still sacrifice for you. Ily.

P.S: I would still wait and treat you nice even if you don't gimme hope.