I cant turn back anymore

I'm already at a point where I cant turn back anymore, if you just leave now i think i will need a new start. But if you leave please do, i dont want to force you to stay. =/ i want you to do what you want and please dont force yourself for me. althought i dont want you leave. but if you do i wont stop you.

Actually it does hurt

Actually it does hurt I just don't want you to feel worse than you already are. And I'm sorry I feel bad too I dunno why. Hehe

I just wanna cry...

It hurts but it'll turn out better for everyone! I shouldn't be so selfish after all, I'll get other chances soon enough and don't regret after making the decision. It hurts alot but I can't cry so it sucks but it's okay cause I have something else to focus on, had fun and was very happy during those moments but should move on now! Go go nick!

Wacha Wacha

Woots just got home lol had meeting with the BI-ers lol. Imba people debating on whether we shud have a seminar. But it is decided! We will have one! Kinda still an unofficial thing but whatever la. Its not like anyone would know also lol. 16 more days till my birthday, thinking of disappearing during my birthday for once. Wonder how it'll be like, but well hope it'll be a nice peaceful day without hectic programs or draining project or work. Just wan it to be peaceful lol! Anyways Chao people!

I know I know its that...

Wala! Lol if you're thinking what you're thinking you're probably right. Now lets see... Lets try to get this blog to 2 pages just so it looks a little longer *rubs hands* nyehehe. Where should I start? First things first, I read the old posts and Wow! I feel like I WAS someone else, its either I change or I changed. Either way I'm different lol... Btw I find blogging with a Lol in your blog post is kinda Epic <_< pretty err what's that word... Lol? >_> anyways walah! It is four moths since the last post! Pretty significant improvement I would say compare to the last post and last years post. Maybe if I keep on blogging and one day I read back I would go like Wah!!! This fella emo his ass off man! Oh wait that fella is me =.= Anyways just being lame, but lame's pretty funny sometimes, at least I think so lol. Thinking of giving my blog a new name, Smile! is pretty last year kind of thing. Any suggestions? Don't give me things like, Wish for a rainbow, or Over the clouds, cause those do make the blog look like another emo fella. Well I know I can't complain much cause of all the emo posts but that doesn't mean the bloggie's name has to be emo as well. Well I think I needa use da toilet! Fresh way to end a post but what ever! CHao!!!

Back!

Wow how long has it been since I last posted? around half a year? Woots. Well yes i'm back bloggie, and yes I feel evil cause I only post when I'm emo. Well alot things happen since the last post. Alot yet feels quite little, maybe cause it's not happening to me. Oh well, lately just when I thought I saw a rainbow, it disappears, along with my smile I would say. But at least there wasn't a storm, now that my sky is pretty blank again, I guess I'll just have to wait till a miracle happens again =P Chao!!

Lost...

Lol finally posting something here after such a long time. Guess what it's 1.45am now and I don't feel tired. I can't sleep and is stuck here. Feeling very very empty. I don't feel like I'm living my own life anymore right now, feels as if I'm living "the flow" what comes, comes and what goes, goes. Happiness sure is a hard-to-get-thing this year. I wonder why... I wouldn't say that there isn't any nice things that happen to me this year, but somehow the ratio of my happy and sad times switch places. Unlike last year I've had more happy times than sad ones, but its kinda the opposite this year. Maybe God just wants me to learn my lesson that happiness isn't gained that easily. Either way, i'm feeling lifeless... so lifeless that I can't even sleep! Lol. Sometimes I don't even know what I want. When I'm home using the comp, I wished I was somewhere else. When I'm out I wish I was home resting. When I'm working I wish I could sleep, when I'm on the bed I wish I could wake up faster. WTF? Epic killing myself from the inside out man. Need a new motivation right now, and a guy like me, finding a motivation is like going to the mall to get something but don't know what. Argh... In need of a miracle here, anyone knows of a way to get one? I really need one now. Anyways I've got so much in my mind, but I don't know how to put them into words. So see ya for now!